Song of the day..

~The Rose~

Some say love it is a river
that drowns the tender reed
Some say love it is a razer
that leaves your soul to blead

Some say love it is a hunger
an endless aching need
I say love it is a flower
and you it's only seed

It's the heart afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of wakingthat never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
who cannot seem to give
and the soul afraid of dyingthat never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
and the road has been too long
and you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winterfar beneath the bitter snows
lies the seed
that with the sun's love
in the spring
becomes the rose

Happy 22nd Burthday to Myself~~

Finally, I pass by Parallel exam and so do my 22nd Birthday.. So sad because I'm finally turning to 22 already.. T_T

Firstly I wan to thanks to my bb hubby for the surprise he gave me straight on the 12am of my birthday.. It was really get me a shock because I did not know that he will give me surprise. He told me that he went for bath then I was suddenly dc which mean my video call stopped.. I still blame him for bath so slow and scared that will missed the 12am wish. However, I feel so touching because when I video call back with him, it was dark in his room and I saw CANDLES!!! I wonder did he really go n buy a cake? Then only I realise he put those candles on a CHIPSMORE.. So funny but it is so sweet.. I never thought he will give me that surprise..

Candles on the Chipsmore and Birthday Song that he sang to me.. Oh my, how I wish I am there with him at the moment.. I miss him..

Then, I would like to thanks to my housemates.. Thanks to them for giving me such a surprise birthday.. I always laugh when I think back Cheok Hoong reaction when he saw me and he could not do anything at the moment.. ESP he is wearing a mask.. Is so funny and memorable birthday experience I had..

I would also thanks to my Parents and brother. Thanks daddy and mummy, although u guys are not around with me in this Birthday again but I can always feel the existence of u guys in my heart.. I love you all..

Last but not least, I gotta thanks to all my friends out there who wished me for my birthday. Thanks guys and I love you guys so much.. MUACKSSSS....

FYP presentation eve~

I am so nervous and worry now.. How? Tomorrow gonna be my VIVA and I still do not know what should I do!! I am worry i will get shoot like using a machine gun as i saw his fire power today is so strong!!

Wish me luck my friend~

Rainbow~

Is been long time I din update my blog due to the heavy load of assignments, midterm, fyp and educational purpose's blog.

Last week when I was hanging out with friends to buy my dinner and I saw this ::

Yeap, it was a rainbow. It was so beautiful and especially it was a completes one.

Yea, u might saying that it is normal or is ordinary to see a rainbow in sky especially after rain. But this is the complete rainbow which i never got the chance to see before. we even pass by under it which make us feel so excited.

Rainbow is form by the sevenfold of colours which most of the people know about it; red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet. Don't you feel that it is so beautiful with those colours mixing up together? It was just like describing people's feeling; sad, happy, anger and etc.

And I had found my own rainbow. The rainbow which might not be complete, which might not as beautiful, which might not as colourful. But for me It is the Only Rainbow I wanna Own it.

Dedicated to my "dear lovely" housemate~

I respect those people who dare to voice out and not just backstabbing people..

IF you wanna backstab someone, please make the situation clear and ask FIRST then only do the blamming. Without any prove, please do not simple accuse or blame people. Use ur brain to think carefully..

U blame me for utube and make ur connection bad, then do you know that actually we suffered for bad connection for almost one sem because of your downloading and PPS?

OK, if you do not know the real situation? I will make it clear here, I DID NOT STREAM n WATCH THE UTUBE AT THE SAME TIME.. I STREAM WHEN YOU GUYS SLEEPING AND NOT AROUND!! So do you really see I stream and watch at the same time? If not, stop accusing people..

I know the room is hot however can u see there is limited space in the room? How u suppose to put another fan in that room? Not only you are the one that suffer from the heat.. I think everyone did, k?

yea, for the bad connection.. U complain u cant do your fyp.. We do have our fyp also and yet the connection is bad, but do we complain for anything? Please think carefully... U suffer for bad connection only for few days but we have been suffer it for almost one semester.. Do we complain about anything??

STRESS

Recently i can feel the stressfulness in him. I see him stressing himself everyday. I know this job is too hard for him and is over pushing him already. However I could not help him anything because I am so far away from him. That day i cried in front of him because i am too stress of my fyp but at the moment i did not know that he is stressing about his work even more and yet he is trying to console me.. I feel so ashamed of myself while he is so understandable and hiding all his stressfulness from me. I am sorry. Today, I finally know that he really very stress and tension for his job after he told me. I was so sad when i know that he trying so hard to get rid of his stress which haunted him so much recently. When he said when I am still in ti, i manage to help him to release some stress, i am starting to have tears. Because I know now i am in sabah and he will be feeling lonely with all the stress with him now which make me so heart pain to see him so suffer. I wish i am there to cheer him up but i cant.

So bei, if u reading this blog, i would like to tell you. Go ahead with wat u want to do, do not force yourself to do something which you do not like it. I will supporting you all the way and wat i want you to do now is

QUIT THE JOB if it is stressing you so much. Although it's pay high but i buy away your happiness which i dowan it to be happen. so bei, go ahead to quit the job!!!!!

I love you...

Trying hard...

I was trying hard not to miss him that much but it failed. Because every single second i am still missing him. I am not used to this life anymore.. Once, i get used with it when i am in sabah. However this time, i dunno why i just dun feel like going back there and i want to be here, be with his side. I am missing him all the time.. 2ml i am going to fly back to sabah, a place which i hate to be there so much. I am so stupid, i actually waited him for the whole day. Waited for some miracle to be happen. Waited he was just lying to me that he is working 2day and give me a surprise that he appear suddenly in front of my door. However, whatever i waited for is just a dream. Heart was painful coz i din wanted to leave him without seeing him the day before. But i understand that he actually did his best ady. He ady took 2 days leave just to accompany me. I understand in my mind but not in my heart because it always feeling so pain deep inside.

I will be missing you.....

boring days

I wasted my time and yet i do not feel like start doing my fyp. Why? I keep forcing myself but i cant fight the laziness in me. Haiz.. Just got his message saying that he not coming back today because the next day he has to reach Ipoh by 10am. Although telling him I am okay with it but actually there is disappointment for me. Since the day he start his working life, he have lesser time to spend with me. However I know is not under his control and i do not blame him but just felt a little bit lonely since after that. Actually I wish for better anniversary thats why i brought the dress there but I did not get anyone in the end. SAD? Nope, i know he did not mean it and i believe as long as we can be together, everyday is just a valentine and anniversary for me. I do not need anything else but just his accompanied. That is why i rather he spend the whole day on the anniversary day with me. Haiz.. Still feeling boring now... What to do? I already get used with him in my life, once he work he won't have time to even message with me. Thats why I am so free to blogging at here. Boring days for me.....

the day after anniversary~

Yday was our 2nd anniversay. Although is just a simple supper we have but i feel so happy yday. Thanks to you. 

Happy Anniversary ^_^

Anniversary is a celebration that we have on the same day of the year annually no matter what event it is. 22th June is a memorable day for me because it is our anniversary day. Today is our second anniversary and it seems like time passes really fast. I didn't know that i already knew him for years and also unexpectedly we both got together in the 22th June 2007.

Thanks GOD for getting me a chance to know this guy which loves and pampers me so much. How fortunate I am to have this guy, someone I love so much, who's love is so true. He is a such a wonderful gift i ever have in my life. People says, it takes two special people to make a loving pairs. However i think i am just an ordinary person who lucky to met you the special one that complete my life.

We had our arguments sometimes and some of them brought me to tears but more important are the good times we've shared. The things you've done to show me you care about me. Yes, we have some conflicts but our love endures through them all. Most of them I can't even recall but all the loving memories are buried deep in my heart. Memories from which I will never part.

You brighten up my life with memories and dreams. You are someone I can count on when i need a helping hand. You've shown me in so many ways that your love is mine until the end of my days. I wish we can keep getting better each years and as what you said, lets cherish our love and make it ever lasting.

I know when people read this will feel like i am over romantic but actually i was just want to telling the truth. Sorry!! >.< bleksssss

my true words...

I feel so touched after I read my fren’s blog. I found the true pure mother’s love in there. She protect her both son so with loves. She is a role model for all the mums in this world. She scarifies herself so much for her both sons. When I read his post, it reminds me my own mum. I don’t know why in this world, I will have her as my mum. I know is rude or disrespect for me to say bad about my own mum but recently I really can’t stand her attitude anymore. When I was kids, everything of mine is control by her. Almost every day I feel so scared of her, scare of being beaten up by her. Whenever I got back my result paper which has bad result, I will end up by beaten seriously. I still remember once, I got beaten up by you just because I tear my book’s paper sheet. Is just one or two sheet and u without listen to my reason, u beat me up so hard till I dun even can sit and lay with back. Why on this earth got a mum will beat her own daughter till so serious just because of tearing a paper sheet from book? That time, I wonder why u are acting like that. I was so sad and crying, my dad, you came. You consult me, you have a look at me but you never side me and say she was wrong to do this on me. You are just trying to explain to me that she was hurt too when she beat me so hard. That time I was just in primary school, I know nothing, I just taught to be must respect my parents all the time so I just follow whatever u both teach me. As time goes, as when I grow up, I started to think on my own, I learned that sometimes I am not the one that making faults all the times. So why should I admit the entire mistake which some is not my faults? Is it about the children should respect parent’s relationship again? Then is it means in this kind of relationship, parents always the winner, always the right one no matter what? I really totally disagree with this anymore because I was the victim, always the stupid one which accepts all the blame when I was small.


I will never forgot how you treat me when I was young, besides caning u even lock me outside the house, feed me with chilli whenever I did something wrong. Why? Why can’t you just taught me nicely or even explain to me nicely at that time? Why you always need to use the harsh ways to teach me? You know you already built the fear of me towards you since I was small? I always scare I make any mistake when I was young. Even till secondary school, I still afraid of you so much. You always stop me from hanging out with friends. All my friends knew you are very strict to me. Remember once, without your admission I went to my senior house to have prefect board discussion. Ended up you scolded me like hell and you even force me to cut off my hair just because of that. Mum, that time I already in form3 and yet you acting like that to me. I ain't going anywhere playing around, I was just went to have prefect discussion with friends. Why are u treating me like that, I also asking myself many times. Do you know the stressfulness I get from you since young? You said you are not forcing us to get good result but actually u did. Whenever me n bro got bad result, your face turn black and you will show your emotion to us. So it is so stressful whenever is exam period. Still remember the form4 incident? I tell you, is you the one that making me to do that. You are the one that making me to choose to use that way. But I truly regret for what I did during that time. My bro, my only sibling which got some sickness during his form4 and form5 period is also because of you, my mum. Don’t you notice how stressful we are in order just to fulfil your high expectation on us? We are so stress. My bro got bad result for his SPM, yet u blame him for din study hard again but please don’t forget you are the one that making him like that during the 2years. He suffers lots and I can see it. However you will always argue with him and did not listen to what he really need. You always say we both blame you so much and not dad but do you think of it why we will do that? Because dad will always use the right way to teach us although I really disagree with him sometimes which always ask us to “jao” you all the time. This is because sometimes mum, you really did something wrong then why should we always the one that take the blame and let you win? You are getting serious with this attitude already, can’t you feel it? That day, you were arguing with me with my tune of talking with you and I admit I was wrong but what’s wrong with brother? He did nothing wrong and just trying to make you smile back again but you scolded him without any reasons again. That is the first time I feel that my brother is growing up already, I was so amaze with what he did to you. He straight shouts at you but with reasonable excuses until I believe you feel you are wrong at the moment also. However, you said “Let your mum win can or not?” From this, I can see how strong desire you are to win among us. You will never admit your mistake and even when u are the one that wrong you will still insist to win. I was so happy when my said, “You so love to win, I let you will all the time la~~~” Waa, bravo for him and I told him I will support him if dad scold him.


I had follow what you want me to do till even my future career I also follow your choice. Sometimes I wonder why I am always so good baby girl for you. After form6, I applied for UTAR to study the PR course which I am interested on it. However when the local university confirmation out, you force me to study at local university. I explain so hard to you that I don’t want to go is because is too far away and I want to stay in west Malaysia and not SABAH!!! BUT I FAILED as I always did that when I argue something with you. I had to follow what you arrange for me, had to fly over there to start a totally new life for me. Is okay because I believe everything I did will bring something good in return for me. U promise that you will never interrupt my love’s life once I enter university and I am so stupid and believe on what you said. I met him and be with him for months then when is the right time, I told you that we both been 2gthr for months already. However what I got it from you is just REJECT and REJECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You never want to hear my reason of choosing him. I told you he had the entire characteristic that you want in my future boy friend yet you gave me a silly excuse as YOU do not have FAITH with HIM!!!!! What the heck is this? How come my boy friend needs to have FAITH with you? HE will be my future spouse and not YOU!!! Why is u saying all those reason which is not reasonable at all? I remember I told you do not force me till my exam end but u insists to always call me till the stage to want me to just give up on him. WHY? Why you have to be like that? IS so silly you know? You even not agree us to be normal friends as you said you scare I will never give up HIM. Is just be a normal friend you also reject then do you know how was my feeling at the moment? I feel so useless of even my own future life decision; I also cannot make it my own. How stupid is it? We argue over this issue many times and ended up I really give up because I dun like you to mess up the family with all the annoying arguing noise around me. It is so stressful.


One day, I suddenly argue the same issue again. I asked you whether is it in future whenever I meet a boy which ask me to be his girl friend, does I need your approval? So silly that you said a YES to me. And before that you said I can even be with anyone I want as long as is not HE. But now u tells me that I have to have your agreement on every single guy that I want to be with? So stupid man. Mum, I want to ask you; is me the one that want to get marry in future or you? Why you have to choose the guy that marries me? Is not the 70’s or 80’s already. I have my own choice but u told me, those girls who are obedient always bring their partner to get her parents approval before they can start date each other. Do you want me to really be like that? It sounds like I am just a pet or a doll which control by you, do you know that? I know you worry I will choose the wrong guy, but mum, I need to learn from mistake too. Why can’t you let me overcome it myself and let me choose myself? I am so tired of arguing the same issue with you all the time, so I choose to bluff you which I do not want to do it at all. I feel like sometimes you are so pitiful when your beloved son makes you angry much. So I consults you all the times but you do not know how suffer how stress I am in my life. I have to pretending all the time in front of you. I was so hope that you can just accept HIM so that you can avoid from worry or stress of me already.


Just chat with you about my brother. I saw some stupid action of you which makes me feel so blank with you. I wonder why are you doing all sorts of things which actually will only be a bad impression to your children? You always wanted to be in the higher rank, always wanted to be in above moderate family. I tell you, I really rather I am in a moderate family with bunch of happy family members. I remember that mostly is when you hurting my pride. That day, you saw we both 2ghtr and you starting to argue with me. But mum, sometimes please mind your language. You even say some bad and harsh words which make me feel so disappointed with you. You even can do not want to recognize me just because of this silly things. However, since the argument between you n bro that day, I knew you will never give up and agree ME n HIM. Because it does not matter about FAITH actually, is about the pride you care about, about the strong desire that you want to win. So how? I do not know at this moment. I just hope that; please do not make me make the choice that I do not want to make in next year. I do not want to leave you but if times come, you forcing me too much, I scare I will... However, mum; please know that, I do respect and love you but you are the one that making all this getting faded.
As for dad, happy father’s day to you. However, I still feel that you are too bias over mum already till she thought that everything in the house must get her approval or she must be the winner, or we all must listen to her. Dad, I know respect to mum is a must but sometimes logical is also a must. IF mum is acting over on something and you are still on her side, she will never know when she is wrong.


I just pray that, everything will be fine before I make any decision during next year which I do not want to make at all. Please and please change it....

Finally is over~

Finally the exam was over yesterday, went for movie and pool rite after the exam to relax and hv fun~
However the next day, OMG I'm so boring. I got nothing to do but just sitting at home online, watching prison break and bla'ng at here.. I wish i have a place to go, a place to have fun, a place but not just sitting here emo'ng!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

aww... some short touching story...

There Was A Blind Boy Who Used To Hate Everyone Except His Girlfriend.
He Always Used To Say That I’ll Marry You If I Could See!!
Suddenly One Day Someone Donated Him Eyes And Then When He Saw His Girlfriend,
He Was Astonished To See That His Girlfriend Was Also Blind.
His Girlfriend Asked “WILL YOU MARRY ME NOW?”
He Simply Refused.
His Girlfriend Went Away Saying
……“JUST TAKE CARE OF MY EYES”…....

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One Nite A Girl And Boy Were Going In The Car
There Was Complete Silence
Both Of Them Stayed Quiet For Long
The Girl Then Gave Him A Chit.Boy B4 Reading It Told The Girl
(Wid Embarassing Expressions)
Dat He Wants 2 Leave Her As He Is Losing His Interest In Her
Then Suddenly An Over Speeded Car Collided
With Their Car
Girl Died N The Boy Survived
When The Boy Opened The Chit
He Droppd A Tear Coz
It Was Written
IF U WILL LEAVE ME I Wll DIE'

A Touching love story!!

10th Grade:-
As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called 'best friend'. I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before. I handed them to her.She said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade:-
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, So I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go home. She looked at me, said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek..I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year:-
One fine day she walked to my locker. "My date is sick" she said, "hes not gonna go" well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as 'best friends'. So we did. That night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as She smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. Then she said- "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation:-
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine-but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said- 'you're my best friend, thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Marriage:-
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said 'you came !'. She said 'thanks' and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Death:-
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my 'best friend'. At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read:'I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me !
.........'I wish I did too...'
I thought to my self, and I cried.

Travel Warning on Bangkok - 16 March 2009‏

A news to share wit u all..

Dear All,

My Dept secretary informed on this. Her cousin was detained in Bangkok for stealing a box of cigarettes in a duty-free shop in Bangkok International Airport

He had paid for chocolates and a carton of cigarettes.. The cashier put a packet of smokes into his bag and he thought it was a free pack. He was arrested for shop-lifting and the Thai Police extortion price was RM30,000 for his release. He spent two nights in jail and paid RM50 for an air-cond cell, 200-300 baht for each visitor, and RM11,000 for his final release.. The Police shared the money in front of his eyes. On top of that, he was charged in court and fined RM2,000 by the magistrate and handcuffed and escorted to his plane. His passport was stamped "Thief". While there, his relatives requested help from the Malaysian Embassy and was told that they are helpless, as M'sians are victimised similarly daily and letters and phone-calls to the Thai Authorities are ignored.

He shared a cell with a Singaporean the 1st night who paid RM60,000 for his release. The 2nd night was an Indian national who paid USD70,000.

Mind you this is not in a shag downtown Bangkok but in a duty free shop in Bangkok's Int'l Airport.

BE WARNED

secret recipe day~

Typing this post in secret recipe and fed up with the project which i cant solve it after few hours struggle... >.<
Listening to the song by avril lavigne and goo goo dolls in my TTPlayer... Nice song compare to the song played in the secret recipe.. stupid sentimental songs which cant motivate me at all.. Feel fed up with the project.. Below is the project topic which make me headache..

Each group must develop a three-tier client server project. The project should be done in Enterprise Java Bean (EJB). If you can’t get EJB to work, I will accept CORBA or dotNet for less credit. For the best grade, combine two of those technologies or all three. The project must use and illustrate the technology. What does illustrate mean here?

What do illustrate here mean? I mean why u wanna suffer us so much la.. Haiz.. Because of u, 7 of us headache n pening at here. Even the secret recipe worker will recognize us coz we came here last week oso and doing the same STUPID PROJECT oso..

Oh gosh..... I need helpppppppp~~~~~~~~~

蔡依林 - 妥協

你總愛編織謊言
我負責配合表演
所有改變 只為了進入你的世界
這情節 重復了一百遍才發現 是你的心太野

你劃定楚河漢界
我不能輕易犯規
所有時間 都是先給了你優先權
不自覺 愛到不敢冒險
成了你的傀儡一年兩年才看見我有多狼狽

愛到妥協 到頭來還是無解綁著你 不讓你飛
歷史不斷重演 我好累
愛到妥協 也無法將故事再重寫
你已下最后通牒 我躲在我的世界

你劃定楚河漢界
我不能輕易犯規
所有時間 都是先給了你優先權
不自覺 愛到不敢冒險
成了你的傀儡一年兩年才看見我有多狼狽

愛到妥協 到頭來還是無解綁著你 不讓你飛
歷史不斷重演 我好累
愛到妥協 也無法將故事再重寫
你已下最后通牒 我躲在我的世界

你只是害怕一個人睡
我不想在為你掉淚
我了解 不會變 不再徘徊
開始自己的明天

愛到妥協 到頭來還是無解綁著你 不讓你飛
歷史不斷重演 我好累
愛到妥協 也無法將故事再重寫
你已下最后通牒 我躲在我的世界

April Fool~

Happy April Fool to everyone...

Today i tried to avoid being fool from frens n everyone. However i got a news which i really hope tat was a april fool joke. He told me he might be got the job but then is not located at our hometown. Is AT KAMPAR!!! Everything is confirm rite after his medical check up. Although is near, although is better than KL but i still nit to be far apart from him. Before that, everytime during my uni holiday he will back from kl jz to spend time for me. I appreciate it very much but its gonna change right after this sem break. He is going to kampar which oso means although i am having my sem break, i will just meet him once a week. Once a week in a 1month holiday = meet him 4times only...

Feeling so sad when thinking of that. But wat to do? i cant stop him for working... I know i have to go thru all this sooner or later. I know now is the time ady... So i have to let him go....

Bei, wish u all the best during ur work..
Bei, wish u stay healthy there...
Bei, wish u stay happy there...
Bei, wish u still will miss me more there....

Wishing....... all this is just a dream...

W.I.F.E~~~~~

There were four guys and a woman are stuck in an elevator.
While they are stuck, they strike up a conversation.

The first guy says, 'I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E., you know...''Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist.'

'The second guy says, 'I'm a D.I.N.K.Y, you know... Double Income, No Kids Yet.

'The third guy says, 'I'm a R.U.B., you know... ''Rich, Urban, Biker. '

The fourth guy says, I am a D.I.L.D.O, you know... 'Double Income, Little Dog Owner.''

They turn to the woman and ask her. ''What are you?'' She replies: 'I'm a W.I.F.E, you know...

W.I.F.E
Washing
Ironing
Fucking
Etc.

The first day

Wonder wat is the first day for? 2day is the first day my bei go to kl for few days and 2day is his interview day, his big day. Yday we had a conflict which i dowan it to happen, because i knw it will affect his mood. But den we still settle it happily in the end.

Surprisingly , he woke up in the early morning today which is alwys impossible for him. I knw he very concern about this interview bcoz he wanted to get this job very much. I just can wish him luck and all the best during his interview from far away. **Praying and supporting him during his interview** Actually i wish to be with him at tat time bcoz i wan to be the last one that he see b4 go into the interview room and the 1st one to look at his impression and knw hw was his progress after that. But sadly to tell that i am at sabah and i couldn't do it. Thou he did call me right after his interview but it wasn't enough for me who alwys ask for more. I feel very depressed when i alwys thk tat right after his interview, the one that accompany him is his fren but not me. Is it that suffer for a long distance relationship?

I believe that now he should be having fun with his frens, i miss him alot. I wish i am there now to share his feeling after the interview. How can i dun mind that there is just him and his friend spending few days at kl with just both of them? How can i just ignore it while i am a scorpio that with high jealousy. Ishhh... please thk on my side la stupid.. Nvm, if i angry now oso cant change anything because i knw he is a playful type.. Just let him enjoy enough for this few days...

Truth~

001. Real Name:
Ong Jui Yuin

002. Nickname(s):
Serena, Baby

003. Age:
21years old

004. Horoscope :
Scorpio

o005. Male or Female:
Definately female

006. Elementary:
San Min Tadika

007. Middle School:
SMJK San Min

008. High School:
SMJK Sam Min // SM Horley Methodist

009. College School:
University Malaysia Sabah

010. Hair colour:
Black with red brown ( a failed experiment did by him~)

011. Long or Short:
Long and i thk i wouldn't go n cut it short ever~

012. Loud or Quiet:
Depends to the situation, sometimes when i am emo i will be super quite. for sure that the time for me to stay quite is simply more than loud except when i be with him.

013. Sweats or Jeans :
Jeans

014. Phone or Camera:
Phone

015. Health Freak:
Nope

016. Drink or Smoke:
Less drink and never smoke

017. Do you have a crush on someone:
Yeap

018. Eat or Drink:
Eat

019. Piercings:
Have one on both my ears.

020. Tattoos:
Awys wish to but afraid of the painfulness

021. Social or Anti- Social:
Depends~~

Firsts
023. First piercing:
When i was 5years old

024. First relationship :
17?

025. First Best Friend:
My Barbie Doll

026. First Award:
Probably when i am in primary school?

027. First Kiss :
With someone i currently deeply crazy with..

028. First Pet:
"Feng Shui Fish" which i heard from my dad and i dun really know their real name.

029. First Big Vacation:
Dunno.. But wish to have more vacation in this coming years...

030. First Love at first sight :
I always believe.

031. First Big Birthday:
While i was 1 years old.. Thz to my beloved parents.

032. First Surgery:
Nope

033. First sport you joined:
Badminton..

034. Orange or Apple juice:
Apple

035. Rock or Rap:
Rap thou sometimes i hardly to catch up wat they say...

036. Country or Screamo:
eto... kekodesu~

037. NSYNC or Backstreet boys:
Backstreet

038. Britney spears or Christina Aguilera:
Christina

039. Night or Day:
Night, to sleep and no worries

040. Sun or Moon:
Sun when it comes to sun rise n sun set, Moon when it is super duper romantic with stars surrounding~

041. TV or Internet:
Internet.. The tv in my sabah house here is jz manage to watch NTV7( u feel good channel~~)

042. Playstation or xbox:
PSP, PS3

043. Kiss or hug:
Kiss with hugs

044. Iguana or turtle:
Turtle

045. Spider or bee:
spider

046. Fall or spring:
spring...

047. Limewire or iTunes:
Never use it, i have my own supplier.

048. Soccer or baseball:
soccer..coz of him

Currently
049. Eating:
No.. Waiting for frens to buy back for me~~ (I miss laksa!!)

050. Drinking:
Nope, but wish to drink his ribena longan now..

051. Excitement level :
10% wat to exciting for?

052. I’m about to:
msg him rite after i finish tis tag

053. Listening to:
My typing sounds coz the house is way to quite, every1 out for class..

054. Plan for today:
Nothing to plan

055. Waiting for:
my breakfast

056. Energy Level:
Critically low coz jz wk up

057. Thinking of someone:
Some1 who are still in his sweet dream

Future
058. Want kids?:
yes

059. Want to get married?:
yea... but not so soon please..

060. When?:
After 5 to 6 years..

061. How many kids do you want:
3

062. Any name on the mind:
The name let their father to decide, or else those name that i come out will be the lame one.. He knows

063. What did you want to be when you were little:
I was jz a small gal had lots of love from everyone..

064. Careers in mind:
System analyst

065. Mellow future or wild:
wild

066. Something you would never try:
Alots...

067. When do you want to die:
after i settle down all my things and had enjoy enough of my life.

Which is the better in the boy/girl you like (in the future)
068. Lips or Eyes :
lips

069. Romantic or Funny?:
He has the both..

070. Shorter or Taller?:
taller enough for me to put my head on his shoulder.

071. Protective or Caring?:
Caring

072. Romantic or Spontaneous?:
Spontaneous....

073. Nice Stomach or Nice Arms?:
Nice stomach

074. Sensitive or Loud?:
Erm... dunno

075. Hook-up or Relationship?:
relationship

076. Trouble Maker or Hesitant?:
Hesitant. hate trouble maker

077. Muscular or normal:
normal

Have you ever
078. Kissed a stranger:
Nope... Never dare to...

079. Broken a bone:
Nope and dont want to...

080. Lost glasses or contacts:
Never lost my glasses..just broke it..

081. Ran away from home:
Currently is a yes but would not do that coz it will hurt them alots...

082. Held a gun/knife for self defence:
Nope, but it reminds me him...

083. Killed somebody:
In dream?

084. Broken some one’s heart:
Yea... I am sorry...

085. Had your heart broken:
Yea... I had forgive you..

086. Been arrested:
Arrested by police which is my dad? hehe...

087. Cried when someone died:
Yea.. My grandma when i am still a little kid..

088. Liked a friend more than a friend:
Yea..

Do you believe in
089. Yourself:
Yeap

090. Miracles:
Yes, hope money can drop from the sky

091. Love at first sight:
Yeap, alwys do~~

092. Heaven:
Yeap...

093. Santa Claus:
eiiiii....

094. Tooth Fairy:
Nope..

095. Kiss in the first date :
nope... but it would be sweet n romantic..

096. Angels:
Sometimes when i nit helps..

Answer Truthfully
097. Is there 1 person you want to be with right now?
Yea...I hope i'm in my hometown now..

098. Are you seriously happy with where you’re in life now?
Nop..I need a confirmation from her..

099. Do you believe in God?
Sometimes..

100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people.

Thanks to YOU, who actually read from 1 - 100. you're my biggest fan. I love You. mwah.(but i wont tagging anyone because it is tiring when i doin tis and i dowan any1 to feel it too....)

The personality test???

Basically i got this from my ji mui, Ang Ang Ang.... Found it interesting, so i took the test also.. Here is the link http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx, and below is my result~~

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
(I am straightforward? ahemmm..... I wish i could then i wont be getting scold by my bf all the time for being to kindhearted to "some1".)

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
(Erm... Quite true... :P)

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
(yea yea... totally agree!!)

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
(ishh... i am seductively? Am i? I am not sure about it too!! nyek nyek nyek....)

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
(Yea i knw education is important, but i wont thk that i am the kind of person that will stdy HARD??)

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
(Ei..... Dunno yet...)

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
(But i have been stopped once..)

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
(yea... I thk so, sometimes i just feel that i am too rely on him.)

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
(Erm... basically all correct but for mature? do i really mature enough? ei.. dun think so..)

12.15am

Its ady 12.15 morning, what am i doing now till haven get on bed yet? Is all thanks to my beloved lecturers which assign me tonnes of homeworks.. Pening when thinking about it.. Each subject have its own midterm, quiz, test, assignment and yet project. When only i manage to finish all the stuff? Dunno, just do as many as i can. Feel bored of writing my business analysis so have to express my feeling at here for awhile. I am a computer science student but i taking stupid technoprenuership in this semester. Ish, does it really helps on my career? I hope it does have or else i bom the uni. Aha~ i knw.. Impossible.. Just let me express my feeling k? hehe..
Nothing much to bla.. Is time to get back work and GASTRIC now!!!!

1st day of march 2009

2day is one week after he went back. He leave me on the 24th feb, 3.45pm flight. I miss him every single day since he leave. There is lots of sweet memories in this house, we played, smiled, and even cried. I miss him~ Still remember he reach here on the 11th. He told me he come on the 12th but he reach here one day earlier. It was surprised me cox i never thought tat he come 1day earlier. This surprise is not the ordinary one, it filled with happiness, excited n yet deadness which also means i gonna fail for the midterm's paper on the next day. However, i din blame on him cox i knw he didn't mean it.

In this 2weeks, coz of the wrong timing (my midterm weeks) we jz manage to visit few places onli. However 1borneo is always our 1st choice to go because is nearest to my house. It came out this :: no where else but 1b!!! Talking about 1B, we both had an unforgettable valentine day at there. We went to elusion lounge for our valentine dinner, I was having a great time there. After the dinner, we both plan for movie but somehow we cant find a suitable one coz it was crowded and some movie was full ady. We gv up and jz standing there planning for the next activity. While i am whining and emo'ng, he asked me to look at the guy stand next 2me. He said he look suspicious but I din notice anything wrong with him. In order to confirm, he bring me go around jz to make sure whether he following us onot. We went down and look back to make sure, yet we found out he did follow us. I was scared at tat moment n asking my bf not to go down anymore and go back to the cinema to see whether he is following again onot. Tis time he is not following ady but my bf told me another red colour shirt guy who look suspicious oso. We purposely stand beside the escalator and stare at him just to warn him, he looked scared and this proved that something really going wrong there. I really feel so worried so i suggested to my bf that we jz simply watch a movie coz after the movie mayb those guys ady leave. B4 enter the cinema, we saw the 1st guy tat following us nearby. This time we very sure that we have been followed!!!!

time for sleeping ady~ zZzzZZZ..

more to go.........

I LOVE YOU~

Okay, i admit i am lazy but not the main reason i din update my blog.. The main n real reason is i bz with studies, so sorry yea..

Who do really understand what I LOVE YOU means? Do you?

Inject

Loyal
Observant
Valiant
Enjoyment

Yer
Obligation
Unison

British English VS Malaysian English

Surprisingly, this is an article that i get from my little 8 years old young cousin. Yet, he insists want me to read it on the spot. Is quite an interesting article to share with u guys. Enjoy reading it~

Who says our English is teruk?
Just read below - Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-the-point, effective etc. ^_^

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Malaysians: No stock.

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone call for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hello, who call?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I would like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me.

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey! Put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians: No need lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: (pointing at the door) Can ah?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians: No need shy shy one lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I would prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Don't want lah.

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err...Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice? I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians: Shut up lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for sometime. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: What happened ah? Why like that one lah?

WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it. Here, let me show you.
Malaysians: Like that also don't know how to do!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me?
Malaysians: Celaka you!

WAHAHAHAHA~~~

2days more ~~

2 days more and is time to back to my sweet hometown, TI~ somehow i dun feel lk going back is coz of those incident tat happened pass few weeks. 2days more, wat should i do at ti? shopping? but alone so dowan.. frens gathering? i dun think they back yet. Bf? He at kl haven back yet. i thk suppose that time i should jz stay at home, emo for the whole day, on9? dota? haiz.. overall, i thk should be sien till my bro back from ns.

I miss him, he went for ns for few weeks ady. wonder will he get used with the life at there onot? somehow i thk he can do it, i trust him. Will bring him to hv lotsa fun after he back from ns. My bf n i feel the same after our both brother went for ns, which is lonely. No one argue wit us anymore, no one let us tease or tease ur back, every9 dun hv some1 sleep nearby u. This time, we missed our bro so much.

Jz drop by to write smth, or else my dear bei sure will keep remind me to update my blog while i am so lazy to do so.. wahaha

laziness never change~

the last day @.@

2day is the last day for my semester holiday and I gonna back to sabah 2ml noon. Ak5108, 2.15pm flight, AIR ASIA can u please delay the flight for few more days? I knw is impossible~ >.<

5.13pm, i reached home after fetch my bei back home. I spend a memorable moment with him, i really appreciate wat HE gave me. At least 2day i din gotcha for the whole day and i manage to see my bei b4 i back Sabah, thz to YOU. We enjoyed, We laughed, but i cried.. Cried alot, Cried till the tears none stop, cries till i dunno when should i stop~ Luckily he was beside me, console me, wipe my tears, joke wit me. This is wat i like him, he do knw hw 2make me laugh, he bring laughter to my life, bring hapiness to my daily routine.

I really dun feel like going back to sabah because TI is such a memorable place for me.

I think alot for the whole nite, whether wat should i do for the next step? I dont want any one hurt in this case, mayb should i be the one that sacrifies? At least, she wont sad, he wont suffer, they wont worry. Rite? But i dun think is the time to make that decision, so let it be~ Let HIM to decide, let the time to prove, let everything be alright for this very moment. I BELIEVE~

it's finally come~

2day was a bad day for me, i am so bad luck trough out the whole day.. feel so depressed feel so helpless.. morning, i split something on my bed sheet so i have it 2wash the bed sheet n bed n comforter. i was so fed up at tat moment, wonder y am i so bad luck. but the bad luck haven end, it bring forward 2the evening. Saf, my bf came 2find me at noon. He want me 2acc him to cut his hair, the salon din open so i decided 2went for drive tru Mcd for my lunch. Who knws rain starting 2pour and mum called n find me while i am at town, so i hv 2ask my bf 2rush back. while Saf was rushing back, the coke suddenly pour over his car. No matter how, i ask him not2 worry and i wil settle for him after reach my home. act i ady starting 2feel weird wit all the incident tat happen on 2day. all the bad things came in the same time making me so stress.

The main problem finally comes. which is when Saf in front my house while v cleaning, my mum back 2fetch my neighbour aunty 2settle some problem. She saw us, she act nothing which makes me even more worried. I dunno how, dunno wat 2do. i was blank, i needed help so much at tat moment but no one can help me. not even him. but i knw it wasn't his problem, he cant do much thing coz i dowan us 2hurt mum. She back, i tried 2chat wit her. yet, she act differently this time, she scold me. This time it really hurt me alot, is alot.. wat ever she said make me feel so disappointed. She ask me 2choose between her n Saf, if i choose him she will not acknowledge me as her daughter. Yet, if want she 2accept him except she die. I wonder y she can say till like this? izit a big problem just to be with him? he is not a bad guy so y u jz cant accept him?

i love my mum but i wonder y she can treat me like this. izit really to be faith tat i hv 2 break up wit him? but he treat me very good and i love him. act i very hope that he can do something, i feel so unprotected but i un i un.. is not his fault, so nvm.. i will settle it my own since Mrs kok oso say is my family problem. i think wateva decision i make, i need 2 bare it myself.

i believe HE knw hw much i suffer, please do leave some sympathy for me..